This was an excellent, important piece. (I would expect nothing less of you!) I particularly like your point that it is TERRIBLE for kids to teach them to always be on the hunt for offense and injury.
Here’s a personal story: My son took Tae kwon doh throughout elementary school. His teacher was a wonderful mentor for him and all the other kids. The teacher always told the kids, “You get to decide whether to be bothered by something other people say or do. You have that power.”
My son is autistic and was badly bullied (actually bullied--not just someone saying something vaguely unkind) throughout middle school. But he took his teacher’s words to heart and decided he wouldn’t let those bullies bother him. And they didn’t. As just one example of what I mean, a kid started poking and kicking him during eighth grade graduation, and my son just laughed at him and said, “Seriously, dude? You’re doing this NOW?”
We moved overseas and put him in a IB international school, which was a much better fit. In fact his fellow students voted for him to be a graduation speaker. In his speech he told the story about the bullying and about how his Tae kwon doh teacher’s words helped him to cope, and he received a huge ovation. Isn’t that a better story in every way than getting offended, feeling victimized, and pursuing lawsuits and online revenge?
I appreciate all of this, but want to specifically applaud the effort to give the family the benefit of the doubt. It’s easy to obscure facts in a legal case to fit a convenient narrative - my go-to example will always be the famous McDonald’s hot coffee case, which was first described to me as a prime example of a whiny victim making off with millions, when in the end all she really got was basic financial coverage for her terrible, multiple-surgeries-required medical issues and an NDA.
We live in a world where everyone is carrying around a video camera now, which seems to make it easier to accuse people of wrongdoing but not easier to figure out the truth of what happened. This sure looks like a frivolous, entitled complaint to me. But the reminder to maintain humility about what we know of people’s intentions, even when it seems obvious, is one I really need, and I’m glad you included it.
This has been said so, so many times. And it remains 100% correct. I also suspect that it will be ignored, not partly but wholly: the social media incentives to make everything into a hot take are too powerful.
Yes, we have been doing this deliberately for a long time. We have planted a nuclear bomb in the psyches of vulnerable people. Bad enough to be constantly encouraged to think of yourself as a victim. The problem goes nuclear when we paint victim status as an “entitlement”. What will persuade people to let go of a status to which they are “entitled”?
No, I haven't heard about this story yet, probably because I seriously toned down my social media consumption in the last seven years in favor of my mental well-being and in Germany, although it significantly increased over the last years due to the US culture and gender agenda influence, racial discussions or outcries were limited to far-right/neo nazi stuff. As a side note.
In Germany talking about stuff that immigrants do, has become a very taboo topic after we opened the country in 2014/15 to anyone, legal or not. One big event was the let's call it "rape night of cologne 2015" with hundreds of sexual assaults and the police said nothing happened and now this summer there is a huge, seriously huge problem, especially in the city, regarding public swimming pools and its not uncommon, that there will be at least five security personnel overlooking the pool, which to me is insane. Why would anyone go there anymore, but they are full to the brim. Not even the local financial institute where I once worked had security personnel!! Anyways.
You put this story neutrally and concisely for me and I will thank you for that. It's not easy to do this in our current fast-lived internet "jump to conclusions" landscape.
That's one of the reasons why I like this type of blog and shared it with some friends.
Now for this specific case, just as you said, it perfectly reflects what people have been indoctrinated over the recent years. Just judge people by their first impression and project your inner fears and ideologies or better put your whole skewed subjective projection of the world onto this person instantaneously without questioning if it makes sense in the given situation.
I experienced a "similar" event once. A really good long-term friend of mine hung out at my place and we were cooking up some food. The whole day was great, we were having great fun (as always) and in the evening I needed something specific to prepare the food which is why I asked a neighbour for it. Now, this neighbour changes the name on their door monthly if not even weekly.
A very nice person, but seriously confused about their identity so I usually just say "Du", which I would translate to a genderless non-formal "You".
Coming back to my friend I told him "Yeah, XXX gave me this stuff, he or she is really nice, right?"
And because I already could see the eyes lighting up on my friend's face and I wanted to avoid imminent doom I added "He, I mean she never told me what to call Hi-, I mean this person. One time it was She, but now it's back to full-on presenting male so idk whatever"
Well, whatever I said seriously got my friend pissed off. I've never seen my friend this angry nor have I ever experienced something like this in my life, in such severity.
It went from everything is awesome as always to full on inner rage. The look in those eyes was seriously frightening and full of pure, genuine hate.
I couldn't believe what was happening, I was waiting for my friend to start laughing or say "Just kidding, how could you know? Let this person figure it out and thanks for recognizing and including their concern in your mind"
Now my friend started leaning heavily into a certain cultural ideology territory over the last five years, but I realized that's more due the personality and wanting to help everyone and what happened to this friend during life.
But yeah, this didn't happen and I faced a serious barrage of questions that felt like a gun to my head because whatever I was going to say will upset my friend further.
My mind went into overdrive to analyze how this could happen. Why was I suddenly called all these derogatory terms? This person knows me for ages. We talked about the deepest issues one self can have and we know how we tick. I would never even consider acting out this rudely to another person.
How does all of this justify me suddenly being called a bad future parent because I apparently don't take identity concerns serious enough? It was crazy, seriously crazy, and totally out of this world what entailed after I said one simple sentence.
Why was I suddenly being judged and attacked by one of my deep-rooted fears? Why am I suddenly in a knee-deep heated argument with what I did seriously consider my best friend? We never fought, went through all hardships together and now we are somehow discussing why children should be able to pick their names when they speak etc.
It was all over the place and I was being torn to shreds and left hanging with a deep scar in my heart from this discussion. Our first verbal fight so to say.
I avoided saying it till now, but my friend was female and I had to seriously control my inner urges to lash out. I could feel my inner primal workings activate, especially when I was psychologically attacked at the inner core of my being. Really, you attack one of the most fundamental parts of manhood, because I was unsure of a name of a confused individual, what little do you think of me out of the blue?
Anyways, I stayed calm, although there weren't many times in my life where I wanted to grab someone so badly and throw them out of my door and tell them to never face me again before they fix their bullshit.
I was able to calm myself because I learned how feminine aggression works on a psychological base rather than a physical one and that my friend might be off in a way worse state than I previously realized. I didn't wanna lower myself to this level and I felt some form of pity for her. And on top, my life would've probably been over if I laid a finger on her, but that was out of the question. I appreciated though not feeling physically threatened or overwhelmed in a "fighting" situation for once (I'm a rather small man).
So, yeah...somehow everything we lived through together. What we thought and appreciated of each other was thrown out of the window in a second.
And everything this certain culture stands against was projected from my friend's mind into me in this certain situation. It didn't make any sense when you view what happened in the years before that, but just like this costume-wearing person was left helpless, I too could do nothing about this situation. How would you go about resolving something like this before it seriously takes off? I don't know, but funnily enough, somehow even good old trump made it into the heated discussion.
I wonder if years of staying in a bubble can induce some kind of micro borderline out lashes in people or if they simply lose themselves in their subjective world and go into rage mode as soon as their frail beings face any opposition or differing thought. Certainly, the lawyer is only there for one reason which is not the child's well-being.
As you might guess, I never spoke to my friend about these topics again and told her that it hurt me deeply, especially because I trusted this person immensely and her word had actual meaning to me.
Her response? Something along the lines of "We didn't fight and I didn't say it like that"
Thanks for the articles and stay strong in this cultural war!
What a racist fascist, and very obviously a Democrat neo liberal.
Racism is wrong and should be condemned and because it is institutional it has taken 200 years and it is still not eradicated in the US.
The simple fact that you do not mention the trauma and suffering of Yemeni children after 8 years of genocidal bombing by UK and US allies Saudi and UAE who also supply the arms, refuelling and targeting shows you are just a paid schill for the evil empire.
Do you know 8,000 Uigurs were fighting for ISIS in Syria and many in Afghanistan all radicalised and smuggled by Turkey with the help of the CIA and MI6. In the US police would shoot and kill these radicals before a trial.
China and Russia are mot innocent governments, but you judge one with one set of rules and the so-called West with another set of rules.
NATO kept expanding eastwards despite assurances to the contrary and carried a coup destabilising Ukraine leading to civil war in its eastern region, then did its best to arm radicals and create a white supremacist NAZI movement like it did with ISIS in Syria.
So now 12.6m Ukrainians have left their country most major cities are ruins the economy is in ruins and the government debt and corruption that even before the war made it it one of the worst in the world according to the CIA is now completely out of control.
The US has 49m on food stamps 36m without health insurance, 1.5m rough sleepers and a 2m prison population, 90% of whom were never tried in court, so stop with trivialising US tyranny at home and abroad.
This was an excellent, important piece. (I would expect nothing less of you!) I particularly like your point that it is TERRIBLE for kids to teach them to always be on the hunt for offense and injury.
Here’s a personal story: My son took Tae kwon doh throughout elementary school. His teacher was a wonderful mentor for him and all the other kids. The teacher always told the kids, “You get to decide whether to be bothered by something other people say or do. You have that power.”
My son is autistic and was badly bullied (actually bullied--not just someone saying something vaguely unkind) throughout middle school. But he took his teacher’s words to heart and decided he wouldn’t let those bullies bother him. And they didn’t. As just one example of what I mean, a kid started poking and kicking him during eighth grade graduation, and my son just laughed at him and said, “Seriously, dude? You’re doing this NOW?”
We moved overseas and put him in a IB international school, which was a much better fit. In fact his fellow students voted for him to be a graduation speaker. In his speech he told the story about the bullying and about how his Tae kwon doh teacher’s words helped him to cope, and he received a huge ovation. Isn’t that a better story in every way than getting offended, feeling victimized, and pursuing lawsuits and online revenge?
I appreciate all of this, but want to specifically applaud the effort to give the family the benefit of the doubt. It’s easy to obscure facts in a legal case to fit a convenient narrative - my go-to example will always be the famous McDonald’s hot coffee case, which was first described to me as a prime example of a whiny victim making off with millions, when in the end all she really got was basic financial coverage for her terrible, multiple-surgeries-required medical issues and an NDA.
We live in a world where everyone is carrying around a video camera now, which seems to make it easier to accuse people of wrongdoing but not easier to figure out the truth of what happened. This sure looks like a frivolous, entitled complaint to me. But the reminder to maintain humility about what we know of people’s intentions, even when it seems obvious, is one I really need, and I’m glad you included it.
This has been said so, so many times. And it remains 100% correct. I also suspect that it will be ignored, not partly but wholly: the social media incentives to make everything into a hot take are too powerful.
Yes, we have been doing this deliberately for a long time. We have planted a nuclear bomb in the psyches of vulnerable people. Bad enough to be constantly encouraged to think of yourself as a victim. The problem goes nuclear when we paint victim status as an “entitlement”. What will persuade people to let go of a status to which they are “entitled”?
No, I haven't heard about this story yet, probably because I seriously toned down my social media consumption in the last seven years in favor of my mental well-being and in Germany, although it significantly increased over the last years due to the US culture and gender agenda influence, racial discussions or outcries were limited to far-right/neo nazi stuff. As a side note.
In Germany talking about stuff that immigrants do, has become a very taboo topic after we opened the country in 2014/15 to anyone, legal or not. One big event was the let's call it "rape night of cologne 2015" with hundreds of sexual assaults and the police said nothing happened and now this summer there is a huge, seriously huge problem, especially in the city, regarding public swimming pools and its not uncommon, that there will be at least five security personnel overlooking the pool, which to me is insane. Why would anyone go there anymore, but they are full to the brim. Not even the local financial institute where I once worked had security personnel!! Anyways.
You put this story neutrally and concisely for me and I will thank you for that. It's not easy to do this in our current fast-lived internet "jump to conclusions" landscape.
That's one of the reasons why I like this type of blog and shared it with some friends.
Now for this specific case, just as you said, it perfectly reflects what people have been indoctrinated over the recent years. Just judge people by their first impression and project your inner fears and ideologies or better put your whole skewed subjective projection of the world onto this person instantaneously without questioning if it makes sense in the given situation.
I experienced a "similar" event once. A really good long-term friend of mine hung out at my place and we were cooking up some food. The whole day was great, we were having great fun (as always) and in the evening I needed something specific to prepare the food which is why I asked a neighbour for it. Now, this neighbour changes the name on their door monthly if not even weekly.
A very nice person, but seriously confused about their identity so I usually just say "Du", which I would translate to a genderless non-formal "You".
Coming back to my friend I told him "Yeah, XXX gave me this stuff, he or she is really nice, right?"
And because I already could see the eyes lighting up on my friend's face and I wanted to avoid imminent doom I added "He, I mean she never told me what to call Hi-, I mean this person. One time it was She, but now it's back to full-on presenting male so idk whatever"
Well, whatever I said seriously got my friend pissed off. I've never seen my friend this angry nor have I ever experienced something like this in my life, in such severity.
It went from everything is awesome as always to full on inner rage. The look in those eyes was seriously frightening and full of pure, genuine hate.
I couldn't believe what was happening, I was waiting for my friend to start laughing or say "Just kidding, how could you know? Let this person figure it out and thanks for recognizing and including their concern in your mind"
Now my friend started leaning heavily into a certain cultural ideology territory over the last five years, but I realized that's more due the personality and wanting to help everyone and what happened to this friend during life.
But yeah, this didn't happen and I faced a serious barrage of questions that felt like a gun to my head because whatever I was going to say will upset my friend further.
My mind went into overdrive to analyze how this could happen. Why was I suddenly called all these derogatory terms? This person knows me for ages. We talked about the deepest issues one self can have and we know how we tick. I would never even consider acting out this rudely to another person.
How does all of this justify me suddenly being called a bad future parent because I apparently don't take identity concerns serious enough? It was crazy, seriously crazy, and totally out of this world what entailed after I said one simple sentence.
Why was I suddenly being judged and attacked by one of my deep-rooted fears? Why am I suddenly in a knee-deep heated argument with what I did seriously consider my best friend? We never fought, went through all hardships together and now we are somehow discussing why children should be able to pick their names when they speak etc.
It was all over the place and I was being torn to shreds and left hanging with a deep scar in my heart from this discussion. Our first verbal fight so to say.
I avoided saying it till now, but my friend was female and I had to seriously control my inner urges to lash out. I could feel my inner primal workings activate, especially when I was psychologically attacked at the inner core of my being. Really, you attack one of the most fundamental parts of manhood, because I was unsure of a name of a confused individual, what little do you think of me out of the blue?
Anyways, I stayed calm, although there weren't many times in my life where I wanted to grab someone so badly and throw them out of my door and tell them to never face me again before they fix their bullshit.
I was able to calm myself because I learned how feminine aggression works on a psychological base rather than a physical one and that my friend might be off in a way worse state than I previously realized. I didn't wanna lower myself to this level and I felt some form of pity for her. And on top, my life would've probably been over if I laid a finger on her, but that was out of the question. I appreciated though not feeling physically threatened or overwhelmed in a "fighting" situation for once (I'm a rather small man).
So, yeah...somehow everything we lived through together. What we thought and appreciated of each other was thrown out of the window in a second.
And everything this certain culture stands against was projected from my friend's mind into me in this certain situation. It didn't make any sense when you view what happened in the years before that, but just like this costume-wearing person was left helpless, I too could do nothing about this situation. How would you go about resolving something like this before it seriously takes off? I don't know, but funnily enough, somehow even good old trump made it into the heated discussion.
I wonder if years of staying in a bubble can induce some kind of micro borderline out lashes in people or if they simply lose themselves in their subjective world and go into rage mode as soon as their frail beings face any opposition or differing thought. Certainly, the lawyer is only there for one reason which is not the child's well-being.
As you might guess, I never spoke to my friend about these topics again and told her that it hurt me deeply, especially because I trusted this person immensely and her word had actual meaning to me.
Her response? Something along the lines of "We didn't fight and I didn't say it like that"
Thanks for the articles and stay strong in this cultural war!
What a racist fascist, and very obviously a Democrat neo liberal.
Racism is wrong and should be condemned and because it is institutional it has taken 200 years and it is still not eradicated in the US.
The simple fact that you do not mention the trauma and suffering of Yemeni children after 8 years of genocidal bombing by UK and US allies Saudi and UAE who also supply the arms, refuelling and targeting shows you are just a paid schill for the evil empire.
Do you know 8,000 Uigurs were fighting for ISIS in Syria and many in Afghanistan all radicalised and smuggled by Turkey with the help of the CIA and MI6. In the US police would shoot and kill these radicals before a trial.
China and Russia are mot innocent governments, but you judge one with one set of rules and the so-called West with another set of rules.
NATO kept expanding eastwards despite assurances to the contrary and carried a coup destabilising Ukraine leading to civil war in its eastern region, then did its best to arm radicals and create a white supremacist NAZI movement like it did with ISIS in Syria.
So now 12.6m Ukrainians have left their country most major cities are ruins the economy is in ruins and the government debt and corruption that even before the war made it it one of the worst in the world according to the CIA is now completely out of control.
The US has 49m on food stamps 36m without health insurance, 1.5m rough sleepers and a 2m prison population, 90% of whom were never tried in court, so stop with trivialising US tyranny at home and abroad.